OMG you guys, if I knew I would write it here. It’s REALLY hard!!!
So, let’s start with a little bit about me: I’m a 32 year old graphic designer living in the Midwest with dreams of Boston. Soon Boston! I’m coming!!! I have high functioning, treatment resistant, major depression, a general anxiety disorder and a binge eating disorder, along with endometriosis, chronic back pain and lots of headaches. Plus this general feeling of icky from being 120lbs over weight. I feel sick just typing that. Gross!!
I have tried every diet known to man. Believe me. I’ve been dieting since I was like 10 years old. I’ve tried them all. Every variation, every pill and potion, I even drank something every day that tasted like soap.
About 6 years ago I set out on a eat healthy and exercise plan to lose 45lbs and really kick this in the pants. Lets do this!!! I became obsessed with exercise because everyone said that was the key. It’s bullshit. That’s not the key. I exercised for 2 hours a day, 6 days a week for 2 years and lost like 5lbs. Fuck that!
SO, I came to the conclusion (Yes, the hard way… that’s how I roll) that its what you eat.
I’ve also heard the whole count calories thing. Been there, done that. I went 3 months on 500 calories a day and only lost like 10lbs. So, obviously, it’s not JUST calories either. It’s the kind of food that you eat.
So… what do I eat? Well, mainly chocolate, coffee, chocolate coffee, cheese and pasta. I LOVE pasta and cheesy pasta… What were we talking about? Oh! FASTING. Right. Ok, so I’m a vegetarian. I was born that way. Seriously. I have never eaten meat at all. I do eat dairy products though and sugar, the bane of my existence. I’m convinced that it’s poison, but still can’t stop eating it.
Late last year I came across a documentary on Amazon Prime Video about fasting. It talked about healing people through fasting for about 2 weeks. They heal people of everything from obesity to cancer through just water fasting. I had no idea, but I had long thought that the key to losing weight was to just stop eating. But what if I could heal my depression or make it a lot better through this as well?
I went to facebook groups for more information. I had joined this weight loss group on there and someone was talking about the Snake Juice Diet. From there I found several other groups about fasting and healing. I’m GREAT at research. I know all the things about this now. I just can’t seem to do it. You see… I just keep getting hungry and I cave.
For the moment I live with my parents, 2 siblings and 1 niece. Last year was rough, it’s a long story. I’m working on moving, but for now, I’m stuck. I’m stuck with people who eat junk food all the time, loads of carbs and eat 3 times a day. They make a big deal if I don’t eat too, not like I have that kind of self control.
I have this idea to fast for 100 days. Supposedly you can lose anywhere from .5lb to 1lb a day while fasting long term. If I could fast for 100 days most of my problem would be solved. It’s just the fasting part that I can’t seem to get to.
I know what I want to do, but I just can’t do it. Ya know?
So, this is my story, my struggle, a place to put all of my info and research and possibly help someone else. And who knows, maybe someday I will get there too. For now I’m headed to Target over my lunch break and hoping to not come out of that place with either chocolate or coffee. Wish me luck!